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[12 Aug 2005|02:16pm] |
blah blah blah.
i know i can delete entries
but this journal sucks.
i hate it.
too much sad stuff on here.
SO I GOT A NEW JOURNAL.
___ieatbrains
yeah. i do.
& ill pretty much eat yours unless you add me.
WTF ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
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[12 Aug 2005|11:57am] |
ugh seriously.
i got a sunburn.
and its really fugly and annoying.
BLAH.
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| blah blah blah |
[07 Aug 2005|10:55am] |
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Hm. Not too much has been going on lately. Just missing Wasco with lily. & haning out at the stables.
( knee-grow whatt? )
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| plz join |
[05 Aug 2005|02:48pm] |
Im a mod & this community so join!!!!
first 20 are auto accepted!!!
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| definatly. |
[01 Aug 2005|04:52pm] |
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from firt to last |
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definatly over it.
definatly been under it.
definatly through with it.
definatly not happening again.
definatly my last post about it.
definatly moving on with it.
defintly fucking happy about it.
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[01 Aug 2005|04:35pm] |
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lalal So i hacked my hair off.
i still can't stop thinking about that fucking entry i wrote. yeah that one. the one where i sound like a giant cry baby fuckbag e tard. So i guess im pretty pleased that no one really reads this... except lily. haha. But yeah i read it again (for the hundreth time), and it weirds me out... becasue i told myelf over and over again that i was over it. [[oh jesus here i go again.]] but i told myself over and over again that i was over it. And then i sit down at a computer and try and write about wht ive been doing lately and how i feel and stuff... and all this shit pours out. arhhghghjdhg and it fucking pisses me off. I wish i wasnt so good at convincing myself of things that are hardly true. i mean do i sound over it!? i feel pretty over it. but i sound under it. If that makes any sense. I think i deserve a sign that says 'CAUTION EMOITION CRY BABY ETARD THAT LIES TO HERSELF' because thats exactly what i do. i lie to myself all the time.
( yeah i never shut the fuck up )
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[26 Jul 2005|10:20pm] |
Friends only.
Comment to be added.
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[26 Jul 2005|10:12pm] |
hah. I hate the fact that in my last entry I sound like such a
cry baby emo kid. & i jsut keep rambling on & on & on and i
just NEVER shut the hell up. i think its cuz i was like sleep drunk.
sleep drunk: adj: so tired your drunk. If that makes sense. &
lately i have been trying to steer clear of myspace & all of its
addicting digsuting ways. blah. its just like that guy (oh here i go
again). I can say i hate it all i want when really... i cant stop
checking it. & lately i havnt been doing anything. ive had the same laaaaame shit on ym mind 24 fucking 7. it sucks.
Myspace+boy=im a fucking lameass E-tard.
uhm well anyway.
im reading Marilyn Monroes auto biography. 143 pages( yeah i know its
short.. step off) of goodness. She was an orphan&she was depressed
when she was really young&she never smiled&she often thought
about dying& she once got molested by this guy at this orphanage
place. gah who knew such a beautiful people had such rough
lives.
eh ill be back when i think of something to write about.
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[26 Jul 2005|10:04pm] |
ugh please dont read that last entry im a fucking retard cry baby. please shoot me.
*edit*
actually if you have time & want to hear me ramble about the same thing for several sentences its pretty good reading material. Dont waste your time on it. If you dont know me & youread it... i sound depressed&stupid. so your prewarned. its not like anyone read my stuff anyway.
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[24 Jul 2005|11:08pm] |
Hey. i havnt updated in a lonnng time. But im dead tired of myspace. so i guess ill add people or something on here. Honestly... for once i have nothing to talk about. Im not happy. Im not sad. Im not angry. Im dissinterested. Im empty minded. I have no opinions. Im empty. Hm. Well boys pretty much suck.Boys & theinr minds. Boys & their feelings. Girls & all their girl drama and girl problems suck too. Summer has been pretty low. There isnt much too do besides go to the stables. I cut my hair. But its an akward length so im going back on wednesday & cutting it again. Its cut i guess. it'll be more fun when the layers are shorter & stuff. Hmph. I need something exciting to happen. I need someones house to burn down. I need someone to have a baby. someone.. anyone. PLEASE do something. I'm sick & tired of the same thing. I'm sick & tired of the same surroundings. Sick of the same music. Sick of the same friends. Sick of seeing the same people. Sick of talking about the same things.
I'm fucking bored. I guess i could rant on how much i hate when black people play the race card... & sound like a raceist whore. But no. ive done that one too many times. I could go on & on & on about how much I fight with mom... or how much I dont like my step mom. I also could talk about how much i can love & hate certain people. I could also talk about how Whitesnake was the first real emo band ever. i mean seriously " here i go again on my own. like a drifter i was born to walk alone". seriously. you cant tell me that aint emoxcore.
( Read more... )
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| Shit and a survey. |
[06 Jun 2005|06:59pm] |
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further seems forever |
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Wow.i feel really shit all of a sudden. When ever i over think things.. it like screws with my head and i get all emo. it fuckin sucks. Myspace is addicting andthen as i lay dying keeps skipping and im frusterated.. so im writing in here and listening to further seems forever. Not that this has anything to do with whats going on in my life at the moment i wqas jsut tihnking about it. I hate when people dangle things in front of my face like im a fuckin cat. im not a cat. dont tease me. I hate when people cant juts tell me how theyre fucking feeling. they have to put me through hell. argh maybe ill think of something more constructive to write after this fattie survey.
_LASTS_
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: a couple hours ago
Last kiss: um i dont know it depends,
Last good cry: likle last week maybe
Last library book checked out: a man who outgrew his prison cell
Last movie seen: white noise... last night
Last beverage drank: water.
Last food consumed: vegitarian fried rice.
Last phone call: lily.
Last text message: they took text away.. i ran up the bill.
Last time showered: last night... nextone is after this
Last shoes worn: um flip flops
Last items bought: b&w film
Last disappointment: ughi dont know
Last sweatshirt/shirt worn: umm hjean blaazer shindig and camo tank top
Last website: myspace
Last word/s you said: "okay"
What color socks are you wearing? im barefoot duh
What's under your bed? oh lord.
What time did you wake up today? 745 woo woo
_FUTURE_
Who do you want to live with? Friends
What is your career going to be? whoa i cant think that far.
Where are you going to live? in san franciscoduh.. or san diego.. or like really far away.
How many kids do you want? 2 or.. maybe 3
What kind of car(s): mini coop... or a cadilliac
_CURRENT_
Current mood: frusterated confused and sad.
Current music: Further seems foreever
Current hair: a crazy messy pony tail and a back bandana (oh yeah cuz im hecka hxc duh)
Current clothes: black tank top and pj pants yes im in pajama at 7:11
Current annoyance(s): people.
Current desktop picture: an eye with mac makeup
Current book: none
_(x)You'veDone_
(x) been drunk
( ) been high
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped (kind of)
( ) been fired or laid off
( ).. been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of my parent's house
( ) had someone sneak in
( ) ever dated someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) stole something from my job
( ) celebrated new years in times square
( gone on a blind date
( ) crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
( ) had children
(x a hobo downtown) seen someone die
( ) been to Africa
(x) punched someone
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x omg liek 24729847 times i freekin love it hahaha)Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire.
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
() Been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) been pregnant or got someone pregnant
( )lost a child
( ) gone to college
( ) graduated college
(x) taken painkillers
(x) miss someone right now
_UNIQUE_
1. Nervous Habits? um i cant sit still
2. Are you double jointed? nope
3. Can you roll your tongue? yes
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? nuh uh
5. Can you blow spit bubble? nsadly yes haha
6. Can you cross your eyes? yeah duh
7. Tattoos? none
8. Piercings and where? 3 on my ears.
9. Do you make your bed daily? i never make it...
-- CLOTHES --
10. Which shoe goes on first? um well right now left cuz i have a cast but right usually
11. Have you ever thrown one at anyone? yeah haha
12. How much money do you have in your wallet? 13 dollars and 32 cents
13. Favorite piece of clothing? t shirts
-- FOOD --
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl cutting it is retarded!
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? yeah ew
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? hmm i dunno vanilla is awsome anything with vanilla is cool
18. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinets? ew gross like 4
19. What's your favorite beverage? ummmmm apple or cranberry juice and sprite
20. What's your favorite restaurant? dont have one
21. Do you cook? oh heck yes.. i cook in the microwave
-- GROOMING --
22. How often do you brush your teeth? 2 times a day
23. Hair drying method? towl and hair dryer
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair/what color? yeah. blonde, black, brown, pink and purple
25. Do you swear? swearing is fuckin stupid
26. Do you ever spit? nope not really
-- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE --
27.Animal? horse
28. Food? anything that doesnt involove killin old bessie
29. Month? march or june
30. Day? saturday/friday
31. Favorite Looney toons character? the little alien guy oh i forget with the helmet and the eyes yeah i forget
32. Shoe Brand? vans/ converse
33. Subject in school? none
34. Colors? pinkand black
35. Sport? none.. well horse back riding
48. What's your sleeping position? ion my side kindacurled i tihnk i dont know
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? yeah i feel retarded if i dont.. like if someone saw you theyd laugh at you. stupid yeahi know
50. Do you snore? nope but i brether hard wheni sleep haha
52. Do you talk in your sleep? occasionally
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yeah some
54. How about with the light on? nope i like pitch black
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? music
_T or F!_
you cook your own dinner: false
you do your own chores: oy flase-ish
your parents still give you money for things: true
you're gay: False
you walk around barefoot indoors most of the time: ture
you like beef jerky: false
your 1st car was new: n/a
you own more than one brush: true
your favorite color is red: false
you love Josh Lawler: false...whos that
you plan on never going to college: false
you're completely broke right now: semi true besides the 13 dollars.
you never shop at the mall: false
you're happy with your hair: false
you own 3 dogs: false
you spend your money wisely: false.
you're always making new friends: false-ish.i meet new people, but tey arnt like best friends of mine
you like to swim: trueish
you're patient: false. it depends tho
your going to repost this and do your own answers: true?
LAST...
movie you rented = white noise
movie you bought = fear dot com with ally on halloween
song you listened to = um make it a part
song that was stuck in your head = cute with out the e haah
cd you bought = ummmmm i tihnk it wass mxpx?
cd you listened to = further seems forever
person you've called = umm i dont know i tihnk it was my dad
person that's called you = lily
tv show you've watched = umm strip search
person you were thinking of = yeah...
DO...
you have a crush on someone? yeah i think and i wish i didnt its stupid
you wish you could live somewhere else? im fine here
you think about suicide = not really
you believe in online dating = its pointless
others find you attractive = doubted
you want more piercings = yes
you like cleaning = when im on a crazy cleaning spree which is rare
you write in cursive or print = print
FOR OR AGAINST...
long distance relationships= against
killing people = i wouldnt do it.
teenage smoking = cigarettes yeah.
driving drunk = against
gay/lesbian relationships= hey whatever sinks your ship.. or floats your boat whatever!
soap operas = um i dont care
HAVE YOU...
ever cried over a girl= hmm i dont think so maybe tho
ever cried over a boy = no. been upset about it but no
ever lied to someone= of course
ever been arrested = nope
WHAT...
shampoo do you use = um garnier fructis
shoes do you wear = converse and vans and flip flops
are you scared of = being alone, dying, snails and worms
NUMBER...
of times I have been in love?= never,
of times I have had my heart broken? = never
of hearts I have broken? = none i hope
of girls I've slept with? = i share beds with my friends duh
of guys I've slept with? = none. ive like fallen asleep next to one but im a virgin bwaha
of scars on my body? = a couple onebig on tho
of things in my past that I regret? = a lot
of guys that have seen you naked?= none
number of girls that have seen you naked? = none
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
pretty - no
funny - sometimes but im no hotshot comedian
hot - no
friendly - wow sometimes
amusing - eh maybe
ugly - sometimes
loveable - yeah
caring - yeah
sweet - yeah
dorky - gosh yes
_Favorite_
5 letter word: hmmm loser maybe
actor/actress: angelina jolie
Candy: symphony
Cartoon: dont watch too many but maybe spongebob
Cereal: captn crunch, honey bunches of oats orr kashi
Chewing gum: ORBIT
Color(s): pink
Color nail polish: black or dark purple
Day of week: FRIDAY
Least fave day of week: monday
Flower: sunflower.
Jello flavor: ORANGE YEAH LILY I LIKE ORANGE JELLO RED SUCKS!
Jewelry= necklace/bracelette
Summer/Winter: summer
Trampolines or swimming pools: damn.. i guess trampolines..
|| Person who last.. ||
Saw you cry: no one i feel stupid when peole see me cry but the last one i can think of is katrina and meghan at stephanies funeral :(
Made you cry: um wow i dont wanna start
Kissed you: i dont know kiss me.
Touched you: i dont know thats a stupid question. i secksed this camera!
Yelled at you: my mom
Sent you an email: myspace
Gave you a hug: derrick haha
|| Have you ever.. ||
Said "I love you" and meant it?: yeah.
Gone out in public in your pajamas: heyeah its hot haha
Kept a secret from everyone: duh
Cried during a movie: haha yeah
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: no thats fucin stupid!!
Been to New York:nope
Been to California:well i live here
Spent the night with the opposite sex: nope
Wished you were the opposite sex: yeah hahah
What time is it now?: 7:40
Apples or bananas?: apples
Blue or red?: red
Walmart or target?: target ive never been to walmart
Spring or Fall?: spring
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: finish what i was writing b4
What was the last meal you ate?: ummm vegitarian freid rice a little while ago im thirtsty tho
Are you bored?: yeah
Last noise you heard?: further seems forever
Last smell you sniffed?: my camera cuz its hot
|| Friendship/Love ||
Do you believe in love at first sight?: yeah
Do you want children one day, if so, how many?: i answered this.. 2 or 3
Boys name(s): Jimmy valentine, Julian
Girls name(s): veronica, claire, paria (bwhahaha not after the hilton duh) or angelina (not after jolia tho) or julianna
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: loyalty.. or humor i dunno either
|| Other Info ||
Criminal record?: none
Do you speak any other languages?: nope
Last book you read: dson member
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: my birds my clothes
Worst feeling in the world: rejection, being alone
Who you love: my frineds
Who you miss: stop asking that i wont answer
|| You ||
Nickname(s): jackie, wackie, other stuff i dont know i dont wanna think
How old do you look?: three hundred and eighty
How old do you act?: hm i dunno
Glasses/Contacts: none
Braces: used to ok laugh it up but i hated ever minute of it
Do you have any pets?: a lot.
what makes you happy: being with friends, music and yeah stuff
What upsets you?: lots of stuff.
K back to what i was tlaking about before. i have a phobia of beign alone. i hate the thought of it. which is probably why i always feel lonely if that makes sense.... like im over sensitive to the lonliness because im scared ill get stuck that way. im not desperate.. just lonley. haha i sound retarded. but im not i swear. im just like confused. not about myself.. but about what other people think. why cant everyone just feel the same about you as you feel about them. but if you think about itthat wouldnt be perfect. im really starting to hurt my brain. blah. thats all i have to say. BLAH.
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| oh boo |
[04 Jun 2005|01:34am] |
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im not having the time of my life. oh boo boo boo. i need something to write about. i think this is gonna be a WHOLE LOT OF NOTHINGNESS. right now im pretending i know what im talking about om livejournal, and whorin it up like a pro on myspace.
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| look lily i updated <3 |
[14 May 2005|09:59am] |
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hmmmm
well.. lets see....
I was recently the lab rat of a past experiment. My mother wanted to see if not usng the computer would make me get up in the morning. Her hypothesis stated " IF jackie does not use the world wide web, THEN she will beable to arise bright and early the next day" my hypothesis stated "If jackie doesnt not use internet services, then she will wake up the same way as usual..." ok.. the results you ask? well, my hypothesis was proven correct. using the internet does not affect my ability to awaken in the morning. I know, im a freekin genius. The downside of this experiment is that i had no contact with my dear friends.. lily and myspace. hahaha. kidding about the myspace part, although it is quite sad not to be able to see if you got any friend requests... or messages. it also impairs your ability to respond to such loving comment people leave you. haha.. ok enough of typing in complete sentences. its 10:05 and im hecka tired. stupid tierney called me like 3 times at 9 freekin am.. then she paged my phone... making it vibrate on the table hecka times. god dont people sleep at all an more? whats the deal!?!!? ANYHOW... friday night was stupid. i went to the mall.. bought a dress and stuff...... then i came home, and basked in the essence of myspace for a coupld hours... then i attempted to watch briget jones diary.. but i fell asleep.
yep... wooo wooo i partied hard yeahhh woo wooo!!!! haha.ok.. i never really know what to write in this thing... so.. ill just stop
<33
jackie
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[05 May 2005|10:14pm] |
i-love-you.
words that have become empty and over used by the general public. 3 words, 8 letters.
god.. .forget it i cant write anyway
ok so heres this thing im gonna write RIGHT NOW about lily.
♥ LILY ♥
lily is a flower
but shes also a girl
a girl i love, and i mean it.
shes really pretty, and really cool
sometimes she forgets how many people love her.
so i have to remind her.
she thinks people leave her because she scares them away...
but the truth is..
those people weren't truely suposed to be there [for some crazy unknown reason.. probably somthin to do with fate].
and no matter how sad, or how much pain she feels...
ill always be there to remind her of how many people love her,
and that I will never leave her.
she wears a cone hat (but ony on the weekends).. and looks really haught wearing it.
shes flippin hilarous
but she smokes too much and its bad.
she should quit huh?
well back to being poetic and pretty...
lily.
she even thinks shes lame
crazy right?
i know.
shes one of the coolest people ive ever met
she thinks she cares too much
is that even possible?
is it a crime that someone would effin die for a friend?
i could go on for a million minutes
but ill start to wrap it up here, because 10 bucks says your eyes are gettin tired
So, to sum it up... shes flippin beautiful on the inside and the outside
I love you.
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| Blah. |
[30 Apr 2005|09:46pm] |
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Armor for sleep |
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omigah. not cool.
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